The Personal Guide to Effective Business Communication

Reply-All: the button made in Hell 🧩 7 C’s of effective communication 🧩 Communication methods & skills 🧩 Do’s and Don’ts of business communication

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

Effective communication is the key to success.

Even minor tweaks in how we communicate can make a huge difference - and it’s easier than you might think. Effective communication isn’t just about avoiding mistakes. It’s about using every interaction to build stronger relationships and get closer to our goals.

So how do we do that?

Read on 👇

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📧 Reply-All: The Button Made in Hell

One fine day I received the following work email:

“Hey, everyone, we got a new Head of [Insert Random Department], Patrick [Insert Generic Last Name]. He’ll be running things from [Some City] and leading our [Some Boring Initiative]. Let’s all give him a big warm welcome!”

And I was like, “Cool… Who’s Patrick? Also, why am I getting this? Ah, I see: everyone’s getting it. All 50,000+ people in the company.” No big deal, just a tiny little screw-up.

So, 20 minutes later, as I was still at my desk, bam - 30 welcoming Reply-All emails! Because, clearly, we all needed to individually and very publicly roll out the red carpet for Patrick. I shut my laptop thinking, “Nope, not today,” and headed home. In the half an hour it took me to get there, I received another 40 Reply-All emails. Apparently, Patrick needed that much love.

Being the hero that no one asked for, I hit Reply-All (ironic, I know!) and said, “Hey, folks, I only received around 70 Reply-All emails so far. I’m sure you can do much better than that.” Sent that out, only to get slapped with 5 more Reply-All emails before I even blinked. Patrick must’ve been feeling like a rockstar by that point.

Then people started replying just to me, saying, “Wow, you said what we’re all thinking!” One even went, “Try unsubscribing, if you can 😉” To which I responded, “Nah, I’m just gonna legally change my name to Patrick and embrace my fate.”

But wait - it got better! Even Patrick jumped into the chaos with his own Reply-All just to say “Thanks” to everyone. Sure, let’s fuel this dumpster fire a bit more, Patrick.

Then the original sender chimed in with another Reply-All, “Apologies, the initial email was somehow sent to the entire company. Please DO NOT reply to all!” Oh, what a brilliant idea! But, at that point, it was just a voice crying in the wilderness. All we could do was simply sit there and wait for the email apocalypse to burn itself out.

© Randy Glasbergen

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📰 7 C’s of Effective Communication

Communication, both in business and in personal life, is guided by the 7 C’s that guarantee its effectiveness:

1. Clarity: The message is clear and easily understood.

2. Conciseness: The message is brief and to the point, avoiding unnecessary information.

3. Correctness: The message is accurate and free of errors.

4. Completeness: All necessary information is provided, so the message is fully understood.

5. Concreteness: Specific facts and details support the message, making it more impactful.

6. Consideration: The message addresses the audience's needs, feelings, and perspectives.

7. Courtesy: The message is respectful and polite, maintaining positive relationships.

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📢 Communication Methods & Skills

📖 Overview

There are four different methods of communicating which call for eight different communication skills, depending on who is delivering the message:

Here's a breakdown of each skill:

Verbal Communication

• Active Role: Speaking

  • Clarity - speaking clearly and concisely

  • Articulation - pronouncing words properly

  • Tone - adjusting our tone to suit the context and audience

  • Vocabulary - using appropriate words for the situation

  • Persuasion - convincing others through logical arguments or emotional appeal

  • Storytelling - engaging others with relatable anecdotes or examples

• Passive Role: Listening

  • Active Listening - focusing on the speaker without interrupting

  • Empathy - understanding and sharing the feelings of the speaker

  • Note-taking - jotting down key points for future reference

  • Clarification - asking questions to confirm understanding

  • Feedback - providing constructive responses to show we understood

Non-Verbal Communication

• Active Role: Expressing

  • Body Language - using gestures, posture, and facial expressions to convey meaning

  • Eye Contact - maintaining appropriate eye contact to show engagement

  • Proxemics - understanding personal space and physical distance

  • Appearance - dressing appropriately to send the right message

  • Pacing and Pausing - using pauses and movement to emphasize points

• Passive Role: Observing

  • Body Language Interpretation - read others' gestures, posture, and facial cues

  • Facial Expression Recognition - understanding emotions through facial cues

  • Mirroring - subtly mimicking others’ body language to build rapport

  • Contextual Awareness - recognizing how context affects non-verbal cues

  • Emotional Intelligence - perceiving and responding to the emotional tone of the conversation

Visual Communication

• Active Role: Creating

  • Design Skills - creating visually appealing and clear graphics or presentations

  • Data Visualization - presenting complex data in an understandable format (charts, graphs)

  • Creativity - using creative elements to make visual content engaging

  • Consistency - maintaining a consistent visual style or branding

  • Typography - choosing appropriate fonts and text layouts

• Passive Role: Interpreting

  • Visual Literacy - understanding and interpreting visual information correctly

  • Attention to Detail - noticing subtle elements in visual content

  • Critical Thinking - evaluating the effectiveness and accuracy of visual content

  • Aesthetic Appreciation - recognizing and appreciating good design

  • Contextual Interpretation - understanding how visual elements relate to the broader message

Written Communication

• Active Role: Writing

  • Clarity - writing in a clear and concise manner

  • Grammar and Spelling - using correct grammar and spelling

  • Structure - organizing content logically (introduction, body, conclusion)

  • Tone - matching the tone to the audience and purpose

  • Persuasion - crafting compelling arguments or narratives

  • Editing - reviewing and revising for clarity, coherence, and impact

• Passive Role: Reading

  • Comprehension - understanding the main ideas and details in written content

  • Critical Reading - analyzing and evaluating the quality of the writing

  • Note-taking - highlighting or jotting down important points

  • Contextual Understanding - grasping the context and subtext of the content

  • Feedback - providing constructive criticism or asking insightful questions

🎀 Benefits of Improved Communication Skills

Improved communication skills can lead to numerous personal and professional benefits, such as:

1. Stronger Relationships: Clear and effective communication strengthens relationships, reducing misunderstandings and fostering trust in both personal and professional settings.

2. Stronger Networking: Improved communication skills make it easier to build and maintain a professional network, which can lead to more opportunities and collaborations.

3. Career Advancement: Strong communication skills lead to better job performance, leadership abilities, and opportunities for career growth.

4. Increased Confidence: Being able to express ourselves clearly and understand others enhances our self-confidence, making social interactions smoother and less stressful.

5. Emotional Intelligence: Good communicators are better at recognizing and managing emotions, both their own and others’, leading to more empathetic and supportive interactions.

6. Conflict Resolution: Effective communication helps in resolving conflicts more efficiently, as we can articulate our perspective and understand others’ viewpoints.

7. Improved Persuasion: Enhanced communication skills allow us to present ideas more convincingly, whether we're negotiating, selling, or leading a team.

8. Greater Influence: Being good communicators allows us to influence and inspire others more effectively, whether in team settings, public speaking, or one-on-one interactions.

9. Enhanced Learning: Clear communication helps in better understanding and retaining information, making learning more effective.

10. Stress Reduction: Clear communication reduces the chances of misunderstandings, which can lower stress levels in both personal and professional situations.

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📌 Do’s and Don’ts of Business Communication

Below I’ve provided specific personal recommendations for implementing the 7 C’s in various business scenarios across the different communication types and methods.

For the organizational recommendations and the list of business communication types, see my previous post:

The Organizational Guide to Effective Business Communication

1️⃣ Internal Communication: Top-Down (For Managers)

✴️ Actions speak louder than words. If top leaders say “Our people are our greatest asset”, but then they only simulate addressing employee needs, and don’t even blink an eye when hundreds of people resign, what is the real message here? And are such “leaders” going to be trusted and followed?

For the same reason, I really hate when people say, “I’m sorry but I didn’t do it on purpose.” Well, I’m sorry, too, but that’s no excuse. We can’t, for example, accidentally kill someone and go, “Oops, I didn’t mean to!” As if that suddenly makes it okay. We all have to live with the consequences, so let's make sure that what we do is actually on purpose.

✴️ No double standards. As a continuation of the previous point, we must also be mindful of what we say and do because we need to be a living example of the principles we want to establish within our team. It really won’t work if we say one thing but do another. The opposite is just as true: If we’re the most adamant about upholding the team and company values, then we’ll be recognized as true leaders, be trusted, and be followed naturally.

My team and I were in a meeting with our Line Manager. It was a team workshop, the aim of which was to develop our long-term strategy.

When we started the meeting, our manager proposed a protocol for reaching an agreement. There were three options:

1. We agree = the suggestion is accepted.
2. We can support it = we don’t necessarily agree, but we won’t stand in the way of the suggestion being accepted.
3. We disagree = if we have even one person actively disagreeing, then the suggestion cannot be accepted, so we should drop it and move on to the next.

We said we could try this out and see how it goes.

Immediately on the first topic, a coworker and I disagreed with our manager’s suggestion. Our manager explained his reasoning, we explained ours, and we still disagreed. It was a deadlock. We went in circles for a while, after which I said, “Well, if we go back to the protocol, we’re in pt.3 - we have two people disagreeing with the suggestion, so let’s drop it and move on to the next topic.”

To which our manager said, “Before we move on, I’d like to remind both of you that you’ll also need my support for topics you two bring up because, after all, I am the manager of this team!”

Wow, just wow…

✴️ Realize our impact. Our job title and/or position in the team, project, company hierarchy, etc. determines how our message is perceived. We have to keep in mind that (most of the time) we don’t represent only ourselves and our own views.

Once I was in a discussion with the organizational managers of the transformation project I was leading. They had come up with a process approach and wanted my opinion, before pitching the idea to the VP. I saw a few problems with their solution, which I expressed. And they weren’t particularly happy, because they were very enthusiastic about what they had come up with.

In the break, one of them came to me, pulled me aside, and asked, “Will you support us if we pitch this idea anyway?”

I was taken aback. “Of course, I will,” I said. “I never thought otherwise. This is your organization, and my role is merely a consulting one. You certainly have to do what you think is best, and I will support you with whatever I can.”

“That’s great,” he said. “We also highly value your opinion and we’ll take your points into consideration. However, for the future, please make sure you clearly relay the message that we can also count on your support.”

That’s one of the lessons I’ll never forget.

✴️ Realize our lack of impact. Same as with the previous point, we carry certain accountability as per the organizational or project structure, but there’s also a limit to it. We cannot expect or mandate things we don’t have any power over.

The Head of Legal asked that he be sent the weekly reports from the project I was leading. He wasn’t a project stakeholder or involved in any way, so there was no reason for that. But I understood why he needed the data, so I agreed.

Imagine my surprise when a couple of weeks later he said that this format didn’t work for him. He wanted our report formatted in a completely different way, which would create significant overhead for my team, not to mention we had already agreed with our stakeholders on the format we were using.

Therefore, I had to remind him that we were doing him a favor by sending him the data in the first place and that, if he wanted it formatted in any other way, he was more than welcome to do that himself. End of story.

Here I want to highlight that even when we have formal power over things, and especially over people (as in, we are their Line Managers), we’ll establish a lot more respectful, trustworthy, and long-lasting relationships if we don’t impose ourselves and our opinions on them.

We were in a so-called “calibration meeting”. That meant that we, as Line Managers, had to agree on common measures for our direct reports. The meeting was scheduled and led by our Line Manager.

One of my fellow managers had come up with a rating for an employee that didn’t reflect the reality and we were all trying to convince him to change it. He didn’t want to, though. At some point, our manager said, “OK, let’s take this offline, only you and me. I want to explain once again why rating your employee in this way is not the best message you can deliver to them, and I hope I’ll be able to convince you to change it.”

Notice the words our manager used - “convince you”. Subtle hints like these reveal what a person is really thinking - they don’t want to impose themselves; they truly believe the decision is yours and all they want to do is try to help.

✴️ Drop the employee mentality (especially valid for first-time managers). Employees and managers don’t only do different things, they must also think differently. As managers (same as with parents), we should establish the right environment and help everyone grow into the best version of themselves, not be more concerned with whether we’re friends with everyone.

One of my managers was forwarding to us, his team, the emails he was receiving from his manager exactly as he had received them, no change, not even an “FYI”. And when we completed the tasks requested or provided the information, he was forwarding our emails back to his manager exactly in the same way, zero value-add.

Additionally, when he attended leadership offsites, he was writing in the team chat all the time, quoting what was being said word for word, minute after minute. No filter, no executive summary after the event, no nothing. I had to switch off the notifications of my team chat so I could do any work.

However, the worst was that he was doing exactly what each of us was doing - delivering the actual tasks, instead of managing the delivery. His justification was that we didn’t have enough resources to cover all the work. Of course, we didn’t - no one ever does. That still doesn’t mean that the manager should stop managing. As a result, we were not a team - we were a bunch of individual contributors reporting to the same person, with no one bringing us together. He also couldn't “sell our work” and “get more work to us” - we had to do this internal promotion and marketing by ourselves.

✴️ No bullsh*tting. One of the fastest ways to lose trust and respect is to be vague. Trying to gloss over things or intentionally confuse others looks like there’s something to hide - which is usually true. No matter how hard the conversation is, we have to say it like it is - we don’t have to be rude, but we don’t have to sugarcoat it either. That’s why we’re managers, after all - if it were an easy job, everyone would be signing up for it.

I used to have this manager who was all talk and no action. He was always able to find someone to deliver the tasks he then claimed credit for. And since I was the only one reporting to him, that someone was usually me.

We were attending a meeting with other managers, discussing some problem. My manager immediately jumped to the occasion, offering support. “Oh, don’t you worry,” he told everyone. “I will take care of this!”

I was rather surprised that he committed to do something, but I kept quiet.

After a while, the conversation circled back to the same problem. My manager went again, “Oh, you shouldn’t worry - we’ll take care of it!”

Ah, so suddenly it was “we”?! That was more like the manager I knew.

When the conversation came back to the same topic for a third time, my manager said, “I already told you - no need to worry! Irina will take care of it.”

Right, of course…

✴️ No surprises. People should always know where they stand, and the year-end performance review should be no surprise. As managers, our job is to provide immediate feedback, no matter if it’s good or bad. When we reach the year-end performance review, the person being reviewed must know what to expect. This should not be a traumatic event - for either side.

One year-end performance review of mine was an utter disaster: I was told so many things that I did wrong during the year that I hadn’t realized or even remembered. Moreover, despite my manager not being interested in hearing my review of him, I dished it out. I felt a lot of what he was accusing me of was actually his bad management. He and I turned a 1-hour meeting into a 3.5-hour shouting match. I made sure it was as terrible for him, as it was for me.

The only problem was that, as per the official process, his review of me was what mattered. There was no official process for my review of him. Subordinates in general, in most companies, don’t review their managers (which I think is a huge mistake). And HR escalations are typically not a great idea.

For the record, this manager and I parted on good terms after all - I'll have to explain how I managed that in another looooooong post.

✴️ “No change” is also news. One of the manager’s tasks is to communicate the strategic objectives and their priorities. However, sometimes the priorities change, and we tend to focus on and communicate only the changes. That leaves everyone with the impression that the changes are now the highest priority. After all, if anything else was the highest priority, we would have at least mentioned it, no? See more here.

I was designing the process for creating, prioritizing, communicating, and tracking the Leadership Strategic Objectives. When the Process Owner and I were discussing the communication part, I showed him a few bullet points I had drafted on what that communication must include. It was such an eye-opener for him that, indeed, people should also know when nothing changes. And that we shouldn’t cancel recurring status meetings if we have nothing new to say - we should repeat what we said the last time because that is still the current status.

2️⃣ Internal Communication: Bottom-Up (For Employees)

✴️ Bring both solutions AND problems. Some managers expect employees to only bring solutions and avoid highlighting problems, aiming for a positive, can-do attitude. While I get why they want this, here’s what I’m thinking:

1. Optimism vs. pessimism is very much part of the character. If we don’t want pessimistic people around, we shouldn’t hire them. But if we already have them, we might as well listen to what they have to say - being pessimistic doesn’t mean they’re always wrong.

2. Sarcasm is very much part of the work environment. If we don’t want people to be sarcastic, we must ensure that we, as managers, have established (and keep maintaining and improving) the right work environment for our people to thrive.

3. If one of my employees spots a problem, and especially if they don’t have a solution, I, as their manager, want to know. Here is why:

   1. First, I might be able to find a solution a lot easier and faster than they can (because I’m looking from a higher place).

   2. Second, (since I’m having a bigger circle of influence) I’ll most probably be able to open a door for them where they thought they couldn’t go and, thus, have discarded the path as a possible solution.

   3. And third, if the problem is time-sensitive, I don’t want them wasting time trying to fight it on their own when I’m there to help (in exactly those types of situations).

Therefore, as employees, whenever we spot a problem, we should make our managers aware of it - they will then decide whether to interfere or not.

Which brings me to my next point:

✴️ Escalate when there’s still time to react. We want to be able to prevent problems, not only run around putting out fires. Therefore, the best time to raise a concern is as soon as we identify a risk, not after it has become a full-blown issue.

And if the below is the corporate culture we have, it needs fixing:

✴️ Don’t escalate people without notice. This notice serves the following purpose:

1. Understanding: It allows both parties to explain their perspectives. Conflicts involve at least two viewpoints - ours and the other person’s. We need to give them a chance to share their side and to understand how we think and feel.

2. Allowing amends: If we’ve shared our concerns and warned about escalating if the situation doesn’t improve, and the other person still doesn’t want to work with us on improving things, then we can go ahead and escalate them - but not before. It’s only fair that a person has the chance to fix things before it’s too late.

3️⃣ Internal Communication: Lateral (For Everyone)

Verbal & Non-Verbal

✴️ Never say bad/sensitive things about others. When we share information, it should only involve us and the people who are present. If it’s not, it’s gossip. The real issue with gossip is that we lose control over our message. How it’s perceived now depends on the listener's relationship with the person we’re talking about, not our relationship with the listener. Moreover, the listener might start thinking we talk the same way about them when they’re not around.

I once had a new team member who was very quiet, and others didn’t know what to make of her at first. But she quickly proved she knew her stuff. More importantly, she gradually became friends with everyone. People were coming to me amazed, telling me how she never spoke a bad word about anyone. Her popularity literally skyrocketed.

✴️ Discuss mistakes one-on-one. This is another spin on the point about escalating people: We should always give the benefit of the doubt at least the first time around. Maybe the person was really trying hard and it was an honest mistake - and we’ll ruin all their long and hard efforts by being inconsiderate.

Back in the day, I was in charge of getting our ads printed in the newsletter. I received the text from the Senior Consultant, turned it into an image, and sent it off. Only then did I realize there was a mistake. Without thinking, I pointed it out in front of the whole team. The Senior Consultant admitted the mistake, stopped the print, and handed the text to the Junior Consultant to fix. I knew the Junior Consultant had written the ad, but somehow I’d forgotten, focusing only on getting the job done.

Later that day, when everyone else had left, the Junior Consultant said to me, “Next time you spot a mistake, I’d appreciate it if you come to me directly instead of announcing it to the whole team.” I felt really bad - I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. But she was right - and that’s why this lesson has stuck with me ever since.

✴️ Consider the consequences. Building on the previous point, being honest is great, especially if we don’t have to bear the consequences, but someone certainly will. So before speaking up, we can take a moment to consider:

• who we’re talking to (their position and circle of influence),

• who will be affected, and

• how they will be affected.

We can’t foresee every possible outcome, but many scenarios are obvious if we just stop and think.

I was sent to represent the IT Department in a meeting with the Vice Presidents (VPs) of all other departments because our VP of IT Operations couldn’t attend. She needed me there to answer only one question: Would the computers be ready to set up the IT training rooms in time for the Sales department’s training? She told me she’d use computers from a Marketing order to meet the deadline for Sales and then reorder for Marketing, since their needs weren’t as urgent.

At the meeting, I relayed this exactly as she had told me. When I got back, everyone knew what I had said, and my VP was furious. Apparently, the VPs of Marketing and Sales started arguing over “their” computers, and my VP was caught in the middle. It turned out I was only supposed to say, “Yes, the training rooms will be ready on time,” and not provide any additional details. 🫣

✴️ If you don’t know something or made a mistake, admit it. (This connects to the earlier point about managers not bullsh*tting.) Since companies are compared to machines, we’ve been taught we should know and be able to do everything because we’d be a bad machine piece if we didn’t. However, I believe the human factor is stronger than the machine factor - and acting with integrity pays off in the long run.

I’m always ready to stand up against injustice, but if someone apologizes for their mistake, I’m immediately disarmed. My goal is achieved: they’ve recognized their mistake, are genuinely sorry, and will make sure not to repeat it. We can use the same disarming tactic when we make a mistake.

✴️ Listen with curiosity. We’ve all heard about “active listening,” but what does it actually mean? It’s listening to truly understand, not just to judge or wait for a chance to speak. It’s about learning and capturing the other person’s point of view. The best part is, once we understand where they’re coming from, it’s much easier to present our own perspective. Besides, sometimes people only want to feel heard.

I was leading a process audit when a colleague we’d invited barged in, saying the audit was pointless and he didn’t see why he should participate, especially since he had real work to do. His attitude was clearly meant to start a conflict, but instead of arguing, I was really curious about why he felt the audit was a waste of time. I asked him some questions and listened to his reasons. Talking about it clearly made him less confrontational.

I told him he could, of course, leave if he wanted to, but since we were discussing his process, it might be worth staying for a while, just to see if it was any relevant. He agreed.

My co-auditor continued with the audit, and this colleague initially worked on his laptop but, little by little, he got interested in the discussion. So much so that, by the end, he was asking the questions and was genuinely curious about some process steps that he didn’t know others performed. He stayed for the whole session and, when leaving, thanked everyone for the insightful discussion.

✴️ Keep it short. These days, attention spans are short. With so much going on around us, staying focused is rare. That’s why we need to grab attention quickly, or we won’t stand a chance.

To do this, we should treat communication like a sales pitch: provide just enough information to spark interest and then leave room for questions. If people don’t ask any, they’re not interested enough, and we’ve saved time and effort by avoiding unnecessary explanations.

I was helping a fellow manager with hiring for his team. After each interview, we compared notes on the candidates. At one point, he asked, “May I give you some feedback too?” I agreed, eager to hear his thoughts. He said, “When you ask a question, don’t start explaining it before the candidate has a chance to respond. If they don’t understand, they’ll ask for clarification. If they do understand, there’s no need to explain. And if they think they understand but answer incorrectly, you’ll know this immediately. But that will also reveal something about their character.”

Notice how many people ask a question and in the same breath continue with, “Because if it’s this, then it means that, and blah-blah-blah... [3 minutes of talking]... and that’s why I’m asking.” And the other person goes, “Uhm, what was the question again?” See example here.

Since then I always remind myself to simply ask my question and then shut up.

✴️ Check your trust level. I once discussed trust with my manager. I felt he gave too much trust too quickly. My approach was to start with trust at 50% - if someone proves they’re trustworthy, I increase it; if they don’t, I decrease it. My manager, on the other hand, started with 100% trust for everyone he didn’t know - if they proved trustworthy, they stayed at 100%; if not, their trust level dropped. These two approaches lead to very different ways of working with people, and it shows.

I hired a new employee, and her first request was to join all my meetings. I explained that, as a manager, I was there to contribute to decision-making, while she wanted to attend just to listen.

She was seriously worried. “But if I don't attend, how will I know what’s going on,” she asked.

I explained that information-sharing happens afterwards - via Minutes of Meetings (MoMs), for example.

“Oh, ok,” she said, visibly calmed down. “If I can read the MoMs, then that’s fine. I only want to be informed anyway.”

Such events clearly show where someone’s trust level is initially set 😉

See more here on meeting attendees.

✴️ It’s just work. I love my job, but I’ve come to realize that most people hate theirs. They do the bare minimum just to get paid and don’t want to think or talk about work outside of office hours. They want to leave the office and forget about it all. Passion for what we do is a luxury these days, and until that changes, we need to be aware that these different ways of thinking lead to different ways of working.

I know many people are happy to do whatever their clients or managers ask for, as long as they get paid. I, however, can’t work just for the sake of money. For me, it’s more important to add value. And if I don’t see how I’m adding value or don’t believe I am, I completely lose my motivation. See more here.

✴️ It’s nothing personal. This is a hard pill to swallow for many. To begin with, we’re always dealing with a kid trapped inside an adult’s body. And even though business is for adults, our emotional intelligence still has a long way to go.

Moreover, for centuries business used to be personal - individuals serving individuals. But since the first Industrial Revolution, we’ve had mass production and most of us don’t own companies, don’t get to interact with our customers, and don’t interact with our company owners either. Everyone has lost their face. Companies are legal entities that cast big enough shadows for everyone to hide in them, making people-related processes more and more dehumanizing.

There are two ways to approach this:

1. Whatever happens, it’s just business - and as the saying goes, “All is fair in love and war.”

2. Separate the person from their opinion or idea - and discuss the opinion/idea only, not the person (even if that person is us).

How often do we see someone comment online, only to be met with replies like, “Are you nuts?! Did you even read the post??” Then another person chimes in with, “This is the stupidest thing ever - just shut up!” And someone else adds, “Go hide under a rock!!” And so on, and so forth. Those are some exceptionally thoughtful and compassionate discussions at the highest intellectual level. We can learn a lot from them - particularly about how NOT to have a conversation.

✴️ Contact Points have responsibilities. Being a Contact Point means three things:

1. We get our team’s perspective before the meeting.

2. We represent our team’s perspective during the meeting (not just our own).

3. We share the meeting results with our team.

We use Contact Points because we can’t invite the entire company to every meeting. However, when a Contact Point attends, it’s assumed that the whole team is represented. So, as Contact Points, we must ensure we accurately reflect our team’s views. If we can't do that, it’s better not to attend, so no one mistakenly thinks the team was represented.

Note that managers are their team’s Contact Points by default.

Visual & Written

✴️ Imitation is NOT a compliment - inspiration is. Everything we do is just remixing old ideas in new ways. Very few things are 100% original. I get constantly inspired by everything and everyone, and I’m truly happy when I can inspire others too - but to create something of their own, not to copy what I did word for word. There’s no progress in imitation.

A colleague and I were tasked with creating processes for two neighboring departments. Since I finished first, she asked if she could use mine as a base, and I agreed. The next day, my inbox was flooded with notifications of all my process pages being copied. I went back to her to explain that I agreed to her using my processes as inspiration, not as a carbon copy. As it turned out, she and I were on the same page - her intern didn’t understand the assignment and copied everything.

✴️ Careful what you write. Written text leaves a trace. And we never know which inbox that trace might end up in. Therefore, before hitting Send, it’s best to consider if we’d be okay if our message goes public - because the spicier it is, the bigger the chance it will.

✴️ When angry, write now but send later. People often say, “Don’t write when you’re angry.” I say, “Write it now, but send it later.” Writing in the moment captures all our feelings and reasons, but it’s wise to wait before sending. We can sleep on it, review it the next day, soften the tone, and then send it.

✴️ No “hello” only (specifically for chats). If we want to ask or discuss something, we shouldn’t just say “hi” and wait. We should follow up our greeting with the actual message. A simple “hi” leaves the other person unsure of what we want, and that’s pretty annoying. Personally, I’ve stopped replying to “hello”-only messages altogether.

✴️ Save “thank you” emails. Any written acknowledgment of a job well done (“thank you” emails, cards, references, testimonials, etc.), even if it’s just a one-liner, can be valuable in the future when asking for promotions, searching for new clients, etc. The easiest way to do this is by creating a folder in our email app and storing everything there.

✴️ End with a question. If we want to keep the conversation going, we should end our messages or emails with a question. It encourages the other person to respond, and if they don’t, we have a reason to follow up.

✴️ Ask one question at a time. To ensure all our questions get answered, we have to ask them one at a time. Otherwise, if we send an email with several questions, the recipient might choose to answer only some (i.e. the ones they like). This means a) we’re creating a not-so-friendly atmosphere because we now have to chase someone for not doing something, and b) we have to follow up with more emails anyway.

✴️ Don’t reply to all. The main rule is:

• The person/people we’re talking to should be in the TO: field, and

• the person/people we’re talking about should be in the CC: field.

Everyone else should be out of the email thread. “FYI” emails can be sent later, otherwise, the FYI people will unnecessarily receive the whole correspondence (unless that’s the intention). It’s very similar to the rules for meeting attendees.

✴️ Respect the hierarchy. Additional rules for the CC: field:

• Adding someone’s manager in the CC: field signals an escalation.

• If both our manager and we are in the CC: field, and a response is needed, it's our manager who should reply, not us (unless specified otherwise). If we were expected to reply, we'd be in the TO: field.

✴️ If an email is longer than 5 sentences, call for a meeting (or record a video). Writing a long email takes time, and so does reading and understanding it. Plus, the other person might follow up with questions to clarify. It's often more efficient to have a meeting instead, even if it's just a quick phone call (or a video).

A colleague reviewed one of my documents and left inline comments. I then replied to his comments but, instead of him replying to mine, he simply sent me a link to a Loom video he’d just recorded for me. It was a 5-minute video that clarified all his points, saving us so much time and effort that would have been spent going back and forth with written comments.

✴️ Meeting invites must have an agenda. Without one, it's impossible to:

• decide if we need to attend the meeting,

• prepare for the meeting accordingly, or

• remember what the meeting is about when the time comes.

This also applies to anyone who’s been forwarded the invite. See more here.

My “favorite” scenario is when someone’s manager sends them a one-on-one meeting invite without an agenda. What the person is thinking at that moment ranges from “OMG, I’m being fired!” to “OMG, I’m getting promoted!”, and everything in between. And then they can’t sleep until the meeting actually happens 🙄

✴️ Delay sending messages. It's so typical to spend hours writing, reviewing, and editing an email, and then the moment we hit send, we realize we forgot something important. It used to always be a missing attachment, but now there’s an automatic alert for that. If it’s something else, though, a simple fix is adding a 5- to 10-second delay to our emails (works with any app, including Gmail). This keeps the email in our Outbox for a few seconds, giving us a chance to hit Undo.

4️⃣ External Communication

✴️ Don’t leak internal issues. Just like we don’t want our software bugs to be detected by our customers, we don’t want to transfer our internal issues to our customers either. Whatever “mess” we have should stay with us - the customer doesn’t need to know about it. They have their own mess to deal with and, besides, it leaves a bad impression and makes them wonder if we’re the right provider.

✴️ When servicing customers, everything is YOUR problem. When customers buy our products and services, what they’re actually buying is solutions to their problems. If those products or services don’t work, their problems not only persist but multiply. So, when they come to us with complaints, the worst thing we can say is, “That’s not my/our problem.”

Variations of this response include:

• “Unfortunately, I/we can’t do anything to help you.”

• “It’s our company policy.”

• “That doesn’t depend on me - it’s what I’ve been told to do.”

• “You should talk to whoever designed this process, not me.”

• “It’s not my fault.”

• “I only work here.”

Any of the above, coupled with trying to dismiss the customer or blame them for the issue, is a fast and sure recipe for disaster.

A while back, I went to a Telecom office to find out why the SIM card I bought wasn’t connecting to their network. Before I could explain, the Customer Care Reps told me I needed to pay for a new card. That instantly put me on edge - I’d already paid for one that didn’t work, and now they wanted me to buy another? No way!

The real kicker came when they said the problem was mine, not theirs, because they just worked there and weren’t “representatives” of the Telecom. I had to point out the obvious: I wasn’t there to have coffee with friends; I was there to resolve an issue with their product. If they didn’t consider themselves representatives, they should leave so I could speak with someone who did.

Needless to say, they didn’t resolve my issue. All they did was display their unprofessional behavior.

Sadly, this isn’t an isolated case (see another example here). However, it also means that to stand out from the competition, all we really need to do is offer great customer service.

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And that’s how we turn small communication improvements into a powerful tool for success. And by doing so, we build stronger relationships, enhance collaboration, and drive progress toward our personal and professional goals.

Thank you for reading 💝

Till next time,

Irina

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If you need help with your specific business challenges:

1. take a self-assessment,

2. attend a webinar, or

3. contact me.